I didn't even notice that I still have that passion for soccer that made me win a local championship as a teenage, the game that brought me and my first girlfriend on the same place at the same time for the first time (we played against each other and she gave me some bruised leg) just for us to met again a few years later taking the same classes on college. That same game that gave me a spread ankle and got me out of my right feet for days, not a biggie, as a left foot person.
After that, I moved, took home in another country and found hard keep up with my team back in Brazil. I'll love Cruzeiro with all my heart, but I couldn't keep it. As for the Brazilian national team, my interest on that I lost way before. They lost their game, got too much money to keep the passion on. But I never ever had talk about it.
Not until last May, actually. I went to DC and was so excited to go to a museum for the first time in my life, but I just had 2 hours. Really, two freaking hours to see a whole fucking museum...
I never got to the half of it. By the third room, a body guard approached me, I really tried to get him off of me explaining that I went to art school so I would be just fine alone, but what a wrong thing to do... He just started to ask more questions and when I told him that I was from Brazil he just lost it. He said: "ma'am there are just two things I know from Brazil...". I was already annoyed, every Brazilian women know what men thinks about Brazil, then I said: "let me guess carnaval and soccer", and he was surprised: "not quite that. Brazilian soccer is the best in the world, but I was talking about samba!" I was like: really, samba? Don't you dare ask me to dance here you old perv man. Then I said: "well, I don't dance, though." He made a surprised face and said: "Really? You are the first one, I thought every Brazilian women knew how to dance." I laughed "Far from it". He changed his approach because I was putting my headphones on my ears again. I was dying for me some Taylor Swift time, though.
We talked about soccer for almost an hour. Well, I talked. I talked about Neymar and why I don't think he's a good player, I talked about Marta and her FIFA awards that nobody remembers. I even talked about USWNT, I didn't even knew them. I just had saw a bunch of pictures of them down on Hudson River in Manhattan. I knew they were celebrating something but I couldn't pin point.
During that week, back in CT, I learned when it would be the WWC opening. I wanted to watch some games, I've never had watched it before, so I wanted to see how was their game. I watched the second USA's game, I don't really remember against who, because I didn't know shit at that point yet. But they grown on me. I started to cheer on them and even forgot about Brazil, that in my opinion is getting sloppy really early on the pitch. Then I remembered the body-guard's word when we were finishing talking. He said something misogynist about never seen a woman talk about soccer with such a passion and really knows what she was talking about. I was taking aback from it, because the last time I talked about soccer I was in Brazil. I'd call it football and sure as hell I'd have a ton of opinions back at me. I didn't really remember I knew all of that.
I can't play it. I know soccer is too dangerous for someone like me that doesn't have anybody on your back. But I could see that I still love it. I still miss it.
I'm back on bars, even alone, watching games (I'm always the only one watching soccer). And it's good, it feels good. I can see that step-by-step I'm on my way to be a better version of my old self.
